Itchy: So, we just moved into “our” new house, it’s really cool! I have a lot a space and I already found a secret place where I can bring my friends. Ohh, and I have a date with Putin tonight, ahh, he’s so sexy, we met at this event in Chile the other day. He’s so sensitive and caring, you wouldn’t know that just by looking at him, you know he’s a black belt or something…Ahh, I’m in love with him but I haven’t told Dick yet, he probably won’t be too happy (he almost had a heart attack the other day when he saw me kissing Kerry)…
Scratchy: Ahh, Itchy, is such a puta! So, I’m organizing a special healing session for the holidays, it’s specifically designed to help people who get depressed by the holidays to feel better about their useless selves. AND, I’m offering a discount to anyone who has tried to commit suicide before, it’s my way of giving something back to the community! So, yeah, it’s gonna be AWESOME! And it only costs $100K for the entire treatment ($90K for those who qualify for the discount)! And I also offer 5.9% (monthly rate) financing for those who qualify! So far Mariah Carey, Jean Claude Van Damme…
Itchy (interrupting): Ohhh, he’s hot, maybe I can help “cure” him.
Scratchy: Shut up, puta…Anyway as I was saying, I also have signed up Ben Affleck, one of those Backstreet boys, Russel Crowe (he’s paying extra), among others. So anyway, if you need help (and you can afford it, or have good credit)…